Ladies, Call 911 First!

Sorry to get all 1950s on you ladies, but I really feel the need to address something concerning that seems to be exclusive to the double-x set. You avoid calling 911, and call your husbands, boyfriends, BFF, or what have you instead.

If You’re Panicking, It’s an Emergency!
I know that many people are reluctant to dial 911, because we’ve all been trained that 911 is for emergencies only, and many aren’t sure if their situation qualifies as an emergency. Let’s make it simple. Panic = Emergency = 911.

It’s Okay to Cancel
If you call 911, then later realize the source of your panicking was not what you thought it was, or wasn’t as bad as you thought it was, then just call and cancel. Unless something you said requires us to show up and make sure that you’re really okay, like “my ex-boyfriend is here, and I’m scared he might hurt me”, you can cancel the service request at no extra charge.

It’s Better to Have Us and Not Need Us
While your baby might be an ass-beater, better to have 1 or 2 of us with all of our cool toys and the ability to conjure up a Po-po shower with one push of a button, than one of him.

We Can Get There Faster
Unless your husband is right down the street or in the front yard, it’s a pretty sure bet that the police can beat him home. Unlike your husband, we can tear down the road at break-neck speeds, blowing red lights, etc, and people will actually go out of their way to let us through.

We Want to Talk to You
We prefer to get our information from the person at the scene of the incident. The information is more timely, and probably more accurate.This means we get there sooner, and we’re less likely to get lost, or have things get confused somewhere along the line, when your husband finally calls us.

We Like False Alarms
Now you probably haven’t thought about it before, but the police don’t get extra pay for dangerous calls. In fact it doesn’t matter if we are chit-chatting with you about the cat that snuck in your window and made you think you had an intruder, or having a shootout with an actual intruder, we get paid the same no matter what. Trust me, we would all much rather be giving Fluffy the third degree than fighting for our lives at the same pay rate! While some of the rookies might be annoyed, most won’t, and either way we’ll be smiling all the way to the bank with our easy money! In fact, not only do we avoid danger, but we get credit for responding to a 911 call, and there’s not even a report to take!

Have you ever called a friend or family member in an emergency, where you later realized that 911 would have been a better option? Tell us your story, why you didn’t call 911, and what you think could be done about that.


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